Gracias

I am thankful for:

*family
*friends
*my cats
*material things that I often take for granted...food, shelter, a car, clothes, etc.
*sweatpants
*Jesus
*having a job...that I like
*compassionate people
*chapstick
*unconditional love
*the smell of fall
*beautiful men
*cream cheese
*football
*life

Bad Blogger

I've been a bad blogger lately...I was without internet service for awhile and have been a busy little bee. I hope to catch up on my blogging sometime soon but in the meantime, please meet my new boyfriend.



Things are pretty serious, we're talking marriage, babies, and white picket fences.

I live in a zoo

Thus far at my apartment, or in the vicinity, I have come across a fox, coyote, baby raccoon and turkeys. The fox and coyote, I saw while driving...the raccoon and turkeys just happened upon my patio. Right outside my sliding door.

I'm use to seeing birds, deer, dogs, cats, and squirrels but these new animals have begun to scare the shit out of me. I live by a nature reserve so I'm guessing that is why this is happening.

Seriously...what's next? An emu?

Somtimes things in your past shouldn't stay there...

I got together tonight with a girlfriend I've had since high school. It's probably been 6 or 7 years since I've seen her. God, I missed her. We've kept in touch over the years but never got together. I'm glad we finally did! We're definitely the type of friends that can pick up right where we left off. There has always been some sort of connection with us, we bond on a certain level and it's so nice to have that back. Chatting with her brought back so many memories of high school and college...it made realize how much has changed and how different I am. And how absolutely crazy we were back in the day. Well, I may still be. She's such an awesome person and I can't wait to rebuild our friendship!

Learning? Settling? WTF?

People say 'Everything happens for a reason.' These people are usually women. And these women are usually sorting through a break-up. It seems that men can get out of a relationship without even a 'Goodbye,' But, apparently, women have to either get married or learn something.--Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City

An end to another relationship (if you can even call it that.) In all reality, we weren't "dating" that long, 4 months, and were still getting to know each other so I know that it's not losing him that I'm upset about, it's having to start over in the relationship search...again. And really, I don't know that I've ever really been "searching," I met this one at Rainbow, not exactly a meat market. I'm more of the mind set that if I meet someone, I meet someone but I'm not crazily trying to find a man. Maybe that's my problem!

It wasn't all but a year ago that I wanted nothing to do with settling down or being committed so what the hell happened in the last year to make me feel differently? Turning 30? One of my besties getting married? Going to my 24 year old friends wedding and being one of the very few single girls there among her early 20ish year old friends? Meeting someone I could potentially see myself getting serious with? I can't pinpoint it but god dammit, I was a lot happier when I didn't want to settle down.

Of course this all happened whilst I was work, leaving me no room to be emotional. To deal with this, I reached out to the girls. They came back with; this relationship happened for me to "learn" something. Hence the SATC quote. And maybe that is why this happened, I of course am not sure what it is I'll be learning from this and maybe I'll ever know. But why is it that at the end of relationships, there has to be a grand reason or we have to learn something. Is that true? Or is it just a way to cope?

I can't help but have a pity party for myself and wonder didn't I learn enough when my 8 year relationship ended? Hasn't my heart ached enough? Haven't I suffered enough? It took me along time after that relationship to mend my heart and want to put myself out there again. So, here I am battered and bruised but not ready to give up...quite yet.

I know I could find someone and get married but I don't want to find "someone," I don't want to settle. There have been opportunities where I could've put my heart to the side and settled just to be in a relationship. I do have faith that God has a plan for me and believe that a relationship and maybe even marriage is part of that plan. The question is, how do I stay sane while I wait? ;)

The Wedding!

My boo got married this weekend...it was so great! Everything turned out so well, I think the only issue was that there was no AC in the room that the ceremony was in. It was torture, I've never seen so many people dripping in sweat! I mean we're talking a code blue swamp ass situation. Other than that, it was wonderful.

Mindy stayed with Cindy and I in our room Friday night. We had so much fun giggling and talking. I felt like I was 13 again. Saturday was the big day and of course flew by. It was hot, hot, hot! Which is actually quite amusing since Mindy hates the heat and sweating, hence the reason she chose to have her wedding in September. She had a photo booth, which I've always wanted for my wedding...(if I can ever force someone to marry me) it was so fun! The dude was late and then spilled on the equipment so it didn't always work but other than that it was nice. I of course proceeded to drink more than enough but managed to accomplish my personal attendant duties...which wasn't the easiest after several Captain diets!

Lots of tears were shed...Christ, I cried at the rehearsal dinner, (Dusty's thank you to me was so sweet), cried when she put the dress on, then they wanted to have pics taken when they first saw each other and have a moment alone so I was the photographer for that. Lord knows why since I'm the most emotional one. It was the most adorable moment ever...I finally asked them if I could be done taking pics because I was crying too hard. Cried when her dad and Kylene sang during the ceremony. Cried during their dance. Then I got drunk and stopped crying.

Everyone looked gorg...Mindy and Dusty were so happy and thankful! Now those assholes are in Puerto Vallarta! Speaking of which, Mindy gave me a bunch of her stuff to hold onto on the wedding day, including her driver's license. She never took it back and I forgot I had it, so last night when I was literally comatose from exhaustion, she called and asked me to meet her in Woodbury since they were leaving at the crack o' ass this morning for their honeymoon. She's lucky I love her cuz my lazy ass wanted nothing to do with driving last night. Really I felt like hanging up on her but decided Jesus wouldn't like that.

Click on picture to enlarge

Fry Girl

Every person that starts at McDonalds has to work in a restaurant for a day, my day was last Thursday. It shined new light onto what I thought happened behind the scenes at fast food places. I didn't have to do too much with food but I did handle the fries for a couple hours. It was quite the experience. A couple things I took away from my experience.

*The floors are extremely slippery, I actually had to put different shoes on because I couldn't get any traction in the ones I was wearing. It's literally like walking on tile covered with Crisco. Ew.
*The fry baskets are heavy
*The assembly lines are nothing like I expected
*I love the ketchup and mustard squirters
*The pop machines are computerized
*It's smelly and hot
*I reached a new level of pain in my feet and legs
*I love working in an office more than anything in the world

OBAMA

On Saturday, September 12, I had the opportunity to go see president Obama speak at the Target Center about Healthcare. I went with my friend Becky, I asked her to go, she's the only person I know that would deal with the chaos of the day just to see Obama. We had a blast! We definitely had luck on our side that day, parking, lines, etc....everything was a breeze! We also got great seats! His speech was empowering, moving, inspirational...that man is amazing. He has some great ideas for the state of healthcare, I hope he can put them into action. Having been without insurance several times in my life, it was a great topic for me to listen to.

I think the coolest part was the atmosphere...everyone was so happy and friendly, there was lots of love in the air!

Ride or Die

I have many acquaintances but I hold a small group of friends very close to my heart. They're the type of friends that you'd cut a bitch for. Well one of my near and dear is walking down the aisle next weekend. It's my closest friend to get married and I don't know why but it's so weird to me.

We've been friends for awhile and when she was single we hit it hard, drinking, man huntin etc. Then one fine day she happened upon one of the good guys left out there and there was no looking back. She's a totally different person now and happier than I've ever seen her. There were times that I didn't know if our friendship would continue and now, I couldn't imagine my life without her. I'm so grateful that I get to be a part of her big day.

I've had plenty of time to adjust to her not being single but there's something about her actually getting hitched that's so crazy to me. It's a new chapter, a huge chapter in her life, one that I have yet to start. Marriage is so monumental to me, it's such a huge commitment and to see someone so close to me do it, I'm a little in awe.

So even though she's beginning a new journey, that doesn't involve man huntin', she'll be my boo forever and I'll always ride or die for her.

A True Minnesotan?

What is it about the MN State Fair that makes me want to vomit? Is it the crowds, the smelly animals, the people who smell worse than the animals, people who don't know how to walk correctly, the little brats running around crying and screaming, the hot sun, the massive amounts of money you spend on food that's going to kill you, or that everything is on a stick? (Which, seriously what is with deep frying everything? I don't like breading maybe that's my issue. Ew.) I don't know, there's so many reasons I can't really just pick one.

Sometimes I think I have such disdain for it because I suffered a childhood trauma at the fair. My dad made my brother and I go in that god damn haunted house. Now, mind you, my brother and I were scared of EVERYTHING growing up and unfortunately some of that has carried over into adulthood. So making us walk through it with him was the cruelest thing my dad could've done. This was when they could still touch you in haunted houses, when the guy started up his chain saw and grabbed me, I seriously think I sharted. By the end, I was sobbing and had been holding onto my dads shorts so tightly that I pulled them down.

I haven't been to fair in almost 10 years, I really have no desire to go. Every year I say I should go, it's what you do if you live in Minnesota right? For a split second I pondered going this weekend but I think that was because I'm on a diet and I'd have an excuse to cheat. Then I realized that I'd rather clean the litter box.

So, maybe I'm not a true Minnesotan and I'm just fine with that.

You're Going Down

Wanna know something that really bugs me? God damn bikers--not motorcycles, pedal bikers. Let me be clear, this rage is not directed at all pedal bikers, just a certain type. That type would be the shit for brain person who is riding their bike on a street that is designated for motorized vehicles when there is a sidewalk readily available for them to use. Look, I understand that you think you're special and the world revolves around you, but it doesn't and one day you're going to be a pancake.

Do I feel bad that when I see one of these asshats I like to see how close I can get to them without actually hitting them? No. It brings a mean, inappropriate smirk to my face and I drive away happy, hoping they shit their pants.

2 All Beef Patties...

My prayers have been answered and I finally got a job! I will be working for the midwest regional office for McDonald's. Not exactly sure what all my duties will be at this point but I know I'll be supporting the marketing team. Over 400 people applied for the job so I feel VERY fortunate to have gotten the position. I'm very excited to start this new journey and hope it works out for the best!

On a side note..TGTBT has been taken out of the freezer and the fridge even! I made it very clear to him that he was on the outs...he changed immediately. He has been so amazing! We'll see if he keeps it up.

Oh and I love green bean casserole.

Deep Thoughts

I'm not sure how I feel about this trend. Sometimes I see it and it looks cute on girls but then the next second it makes me want to push them down and poke jokes. What is it exactly? Aren't headbands made to go "in" the hair not around the head? It is a hippy style right? I do like some of the hippy trends so maybe that's why I feel torn. Or maybe I feel torn because I think it looks cute on girls with long, narrow faces and I have a pumpkin head. Not sure.

COLD

Since TGTBT couldn't shit or get off the pot, I chose a temperature for him...COLD. Very cold. I have no hard feelings toward him, he's a good man, he just has too much going on. I will put him in the *freezer though, he's not completely hopless.

*I keep men in a metaphorical fridge and freezer. (sort of like a man's little black book) Currently 1 (TGTBT) in the freezer and 2 in the fridge. The fridge has had it's fuller days...I've become more picky over the years so it's usually pretty empty. Hopefully one day I can get rid of it.

Day of Mourning

My longest standing celebrity crush has gotten married. I still have my all time favorite picture of him, which I laminated of course, from 10 years ago. I use to keep it in my wallet..it is now in safe keeping. I guess there will never be an Alyssa 4-Eva chest tattoo in Mark's future.

Hats

People ask what I've been doing while I've been laid off so I thought I'd share some of the hats I've worn in the last couple weeks.

*Nanny
*Gardner
*Chauffeur
*Fish Caretaker
*Marriage Counselor
*Professional Sun Bather
*Psychologist
*Student
*Card Maker
*Party Planner
*Interviewee Extraordinaire

Speaking of interview....hoping and praying for an offer next week! Fingers crossed!

I'm in LOVE!!

Caliente y Frio

Why is it so difficult for a man to pick a temperature and stick to it? This question has been boggling my mind for the past couple weeks. What transpires in a man's life that makes him go from making you feel like you're the best shit since slice bread to you feeling like he's suddenly cut out bread like he's on Atkins? And how can this happen in a matter of a day? And then the next day he's carbing it up again? This has been going on with TGTBT almost since the beginning...I have to say that his cold phases have been few and far between but have nonetheless been frustrating. We will talk all the time, we'll spend time together and then he's distant. My favorite is when he'll say something like, "maybe we'll hang out tomorrow" or "maybe I'll stop over." To me, maybe implies that there is a possibility that said action will take place and while I am most certainly ok if the maybe turns into a no, doesn't it make sense to let me know that?

I have always been realistic in the fact that men and women think so differently. Things that women think about may not even cross a man's mind and vice versa. Is this what is happening here? Is this just the way he his and the way he is wired? The thing that confuses me the most is when I do talk him after the "maybes" happen, he doesn't say a thing about it, like I dreamt the conversation. (And with my issue of having troubles differentiating between dreams and reality sometimes, this can be quite confusing for me...that's a whole nother blog ;)) So, is it that he really doesn't think about the fact that he said these things, did he forget, is he just avoiding it? What is it? I could drive myself up a wall trying to figure it out. Unfortunately, it's become annoying to me which means I'll have to "talk" to him about it. Ick.

Lookin Up?

I have an interview Friday and it's for a job that I'm actually interested in...I'm not getting my hopes up because frankly, that never works out well. It feels good to finally have one though!

It's been a crazy couple of days...lots of babysitting, hosting pool festivities, TGTBT guy was over for 3 days in a row (too tired to even expand on that subject), having 3 adults in my house who are terrified of cats, even better...keeping everyone bite free from my ferocious cat, Como Zoo, poopy diapers, migraines, vodka, cooking, couch sleeping, not nearly enough sleep...needless to say, I'm ready for a day off tomorrow. Don't bother me. :)

Too Good to be True? The Answer is YES.

Spend the day dreaming about the perfect date night with TGTBT guy...ahh isn't it every single girls fantasy? The plan... I make dinner and impress him with my fabulous cooking skills (Chicken Parmesan), a few drinks and then we head out to cuddle whilst watching the fireworks display down the street. What actually happened...I was left alone to listen to the fireworks while sitting on my couch watching Friends.

I am such an understanding person, but what I don't understand is how hard it is to call/text me and let me know that something came up or he didn't really feel like hanging out. (p.s. it sounds like the fireworks are being lit off in my parking lot, I bet they look pretty. ) I really am one of those people that is ok with people canceling plans, I get it, everyone has to do it at some point. But, how hard is it to give a heads up? We (me and TGTBT guy) talked so many times about just being HONEST...that's the best policy. Obviously, he's full of shit.

Thank god I get to spend the day with my girls tomorrow...they are amazing in so many ways but especially in instances like this, they remind me how special I am and how I deserve the best.

Speaking of Chicken Parmesan, I had the privledge of going on a date with my mom last night to Chianti Grill, I've been dying to go there FOREVER!!! She got chicken parm...to die for! My meal (lobster and shrimp linguini) was awesome too. I don't get to have alone time with my mom very often..she's a busy woman, so it was absolute perfection. Every good thing about me is because of her.

Speaking of moms...I have to give a shout out to my sister-in-law Heather. She is one amazing mother...works ridiculous hours, gets no sleep, would do anything for her children, family and friends. I'm not sure she gets told enough how amazing she is. I tell people that Keegan 's smile makes everything right in the world, I'm pretty sure she has a lot to do with that. Oh, and she gives the best hickeys.

***Note to self, the cats hate the fireworks. Time to change their litter box***

Better Find a Hobby....

I got an e-mail back from a job I applied for today. They wanted to let me know that they are reviewing resumes but it will take until July 24th as they received 400 of them. I'm sorry what? This job was posted for about a week...I am screwed. I better get my clear heels out now and start practicing the pole cuz my future for a job is looking dim.

I guess the good thing is that I actually heard back from someone. That makes 3 employers that have contacted me...out of about 1,000 positions I've applied for.

The thing that really sucks is there are a lot of things I would LOVE to spend my new found free time doing but most of them cost money. I can only go on so many walks and lay out at the pool so many times. I'm going stir crazy in my apartment but where do I go? What do I do that is free? I would love to be scrap booking or card making, going on adventures around Minnesota, traveling... but until my pole is ready, I'm left with limited options.

Trust

I met a boy the other day...a boy that gives me butterflies, it's been awhile since I've had that. But I find myself questioning everything he says and wondering if he's full of shit. I mean is he really single? Is he really interested in me? I hate this. Have I been so hurt that I've lost all faith in men? I know that I'm the type of person that doesn't give my trust away easily, once you get burned too many times you learn to make people earn it. But am I so jaded I can't relax and just enjoy dating? I guess only time will tell.

I Have Arrived

I have finally taken the leap into the blog world. It took me awhile to work up the nerve to write my own blog, I mean, who in god's name wants to sit and read about me? I find it a bit selfish. I use to joke that I would start a blog and write the about the most ridiculous things such as fupas and swamp ass and fill it with pictures of my cats. But then I realized, this blog doesn't have to be for other people, no one else even needs to see it if I so choose. I want it to be a journal about my journey going forward through this thing we call life. While I absolutely love reading all the family blogs out there, I wanted a place for me and my single girls to represent.

As I sit here sipping on my grey goose/sprite (I may be unemployed but I will not sacrifice good booze), watching 90210 and listening to my cat bite his nails, I find myself 30 years old, single and recently unemployed. That's right, for the 2nd time in 2 years, I have been laid off. The best part is that all the money I had saved up went into my apartment I moved into 2 weeks ago. Don't worry, I got a sweet severance package that the homeless children from Slumdog Millionaire would laugh at. While I have faith that everything will work out, I still feel like I've been punched in the stomach. I try to remind myself to be thankful for all I do have.. family, friends, a home, I'd say my health but that's usually questionable. The silver lining is that I got laid off just in time for summer, can't wait to throw my two piece, or one piece, or tent on and go sit at my pool.

Don't worry fupas, swamp ass and my cats will find their way into my blogs.

**Please note that I'm well aware I'm not a writer and may not always make sense. It's my blog so suck it.**