You're Going Down

Wanna know something that really bugs me? God damn bikers--not motorcycles, pedal bikers. Let me be clear, this rage is not directed at all pedal bikers, just a certain type. That type would be the shit for brain person who is riding their bike on a street that is designated for motorized vehicles when there is a sidewalk readily available for them to use. Look, I understand that you think you're special and the world revolves around you, but it doesn't and one day you're going to be a pancake.

Do I feel bad that when I see one of these asshats I like to see how close I can get to them without actually hitting them? No. It brings a mean, inappropriate smirk to my face and I drive away happy, hoping they shit their pants.

2 All Beef Patties...

My prayers have been answered and I finally got a job! I will be working for the midwest regional office for McDonald's. Not exactly sure what all my duties will be at this point but I know I'll be supporting the marketing team. Over 400 people applied for the job so I feel VERY fortunate to have gotten the position. I'm very excited to start this new journey and hope it works out for the best!

On a side note..TGTBT has been taken out of the freezer and the fridge even! I made it very clear to him that he was on the outs...he changed immediately. He has been so amazing! We'll see if he keeps it up.

Oh and I love green bean casserole.

Deep Thoughts

I'm not sure how I feel about this trend. Sometimes I see it and it looks cute on girls but then the next second it makes me want to push them down and poke jokes. What is it exactly? Aren't headbands made to go "in" the hair not around the head? It is a hippy style right? I do like some of the hippy trends so maybe that's why I feel torn. Or maybe I feel torn because I think it looks cute on girls with long, narrow faces and I have a pumpkin head. Not sure.

COLD

Since TGTBT couldn't shit or get off the pot, I chose a temperature for him...COLD. Very cold. I have no hard feelings toward him, he's a good man, he just has too much going on. I will put him in the *freezer though, he's not completely hopless.

*I keep men in a metaphorical fridge and freezer. (sort of like a man's little black book) Currently 1 (TGTBT) in the freezer and 2 in the fridge. The fridge has had it's fuller days...I've become more picky over the years so it's usually pretty empty. Hopefully one day I can get rid of it.

Day of Mourning

My longest standing celebrity crush has gotten married. I still have my all time favorite picture of him, which I laminated of course, from 10 years ago. I use to keep it in my wallet..it is now in safe keeping. I guess there will never be an Alyssa 4-Eva chest tattoo in Mark's future.