This not having a laptop thing is total crap. Hope to update my blog this week sometime whilst it's slow at work. Wanted to let everyone know that I am alive. I know you, my whole 3 readers, were worried.
I'll leave you with this. Is it ever ok to cropdust someone at their cubical? The answer is NO my friends, it is NEVER EVER ok. Apparently someone at my work doesn't share the same opinion.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
No One Said it Was Easy
Being 30 something and single that is.
Quite honestly, 95% of the time, I love being alone. I love not having to answer to anyone, doing what I want to do and flirting with whoever I want to flirt with. There is something so freeing about being single, coming home to my apartment, cooking what I want to cook, watching what I want to watch on TV...notice a trend? I may be a bit selfish. But that's my right as a single girl! With that said, I've been struggling lately with not having a man in my life. It's such an unfamiliar territory for me that I'm sure how to handle it.
Most people know that I was in a very long relationship, somewhere in the 9 year range. I don't really know the actual length because we took so many breaks. It took me a few years to really deal with that break-up, About 2 years ago, I bounced back, I was happy with being single and really ready to live my life and I've been having fun ever since. I've truly enjoyed being single since I hadn't been since I was 16. I didn't care that so many people around me were settling down, getting married, having kids, sending Christmas cards, having couples nights, saying we instead of I, going to bed a decent hour on weekends and in some cases...feeling sorry for the single girl. I've never bought into the pressure society puts on 30 something singles, especially girls, to get married. I think it's complete bullshit. I was single and I was in heaven!!!
And a big part of me still loves it and finds coupledom gross. With that said, I'm finding myself wanting that relationship, wanting to be in love and most importantly...wanting to be loved back. I miss that feeling and that partnership. So for the past couple months, my heart has been heavy with this issue. I do have faith that I will meet "him" one day, it's how I deal with singledom until then that I find difficult. I'm hoping this is just a phase and the feelings will find their way back down deep in my heart and not re-surface until my dreamboat arrives.
So as if having these feelings wasn't enough, I got news last weekend that the shittard I dated for 9 years is getting married. I almost fainted, he is the last person on earth that should ever get married. His idea of commitment, well, it doesn't exist. He's emailed/text me things while they've been together that you shouldn't be doing if you're with someone. And no, I didn't participate in his shennanigans. Anyways, I didn't take this news very well...I have no desire to get back together with him so I wasn't holding out hope. It just hurt. Having these feelings of loneliness and then knowing he's getting married. (And, she's not even cute!) I was not prepared to feel that way. I seriously thought Jesus was playing a joke on me. I cried...a lot, drank...a lot. I let myself have a pity part, I at least deserved that. Then Monday morning, I got up, put my big girl panties on and faced the day. By last night, I had moved on and was feeling good...no more sadness over him getting married, I had dealt with it. Until...I looked at my phone and have an email from him. It started with "What's up sexy A" and went on to tell me he's going to be in town in 2 weeks and wants to see me. Right then, I knew Jesus hated me. Seriously? I could not believe that he was doing this, dipshit, you're engaged! He obviously doesn't know that I'm aware of his pending nuptials. Part of me thought about meeting him so I could throw a drink in his face, I've always wanted to do that. But then I realized, seeing him is not a good idea. So, I responded with..."Will your fiance be joining us?" I'm guessing I never hear from him again.
Quite honestly, 95% of the time, I love being alone. I love not having to answer to anyone, doing what I want to do and flirting with whoever I want to flirt with. There is something so freeing about being single, coming home to my apartment, cooking what I want to cook, watching what I want to watch on TV...notice a trend? I may be a bit selfish. But that's my right as a single girl! With that said, I've been struggling lately with not having a man in my life. It's such an unfamiliar territory for me that I'm sure how to handle it.
Most people know that I was in a very long relationship, somewhere in the 9 year range. I don't really know the actual length because we took so many breaks. It took me a few years to really deal with that break-up, About 2 years ago, I bounced back, I was happy with being single and really ready to live my life and I've been having fun ever since. I've truly enjoyed being single since I hadn't been since I was 16. I didn't care that so many people around me were settling down, getting married, having kids, sending Christmas cards, having couples nights, saying we instead of I, going to bed a decent hour on weekends and in some cases...feeling sorry for the single girl. I've never bought into the pressure society puts on 30 something singles, especially girls, to get married. I think it's complete bullshit. I was single and I was in heaven!!!
And a big part of me still loves it and finds coupledom gross. With that said, I'm finding myself wanting that relationship, wanting to be in love and most importantly...wanting to be loved back. I miss that feeling and that partnership. So for the past couple months, my heart has been heavy with this issue. I do have faith that I will meet "him" one day, it's how I deal with singledom until then that I find difficult. I'm hoping this is just a phase and the feelings will find their way back down deep in my heart and not re-surface until my dreamboat arrives.
So as if having these feelings wasn't enough, I got news last weekend that the shittard I dated for 9 years is getting married. I almost fainted, he is the last person on earth that should ever get married. His idea of commitment, well, it doesn't exist. He's emailed/text me things while they've been together that you shouldn't be doing if you're with someone. And no, I didn't participate in his shennanigans. Anyways, I didn't take this news very well...I have no desire to get back together with him so I wasn't holding out hope. It just hurt. Having these feelings of loneliness and then knowing he's getting married. (And, she's not even cute!) I was not prepared to feel that way. I seriously thought Jesus was playing a joke on me. I cried...a lot, drank...a lot. I let myself have a pity part, I at least deserved that. Then Monday morning, I got up, put my big girl panties on and faced the day. By last night, I had moved on and was feeling good...no more sadness over him getting married, I had dealt with it. Until...I looked at my phone and have an email from him. It started with "What's up sexy A" and went on to tell me he's going to be in town in 2 weeks and wants to see me. Right then, I knew Jesus hated me. Seriously? I could not believe that he was doing this, dipshit, you're engaged! He obviously doesn't know that I'm aware of his pending nuptials. Part of me thought about meeting him so I could throw a drink in his face, I've always wanted to do that. But then I realized, seeing him is not a good idea. So, I responded with..."Will your fiance be joining us?" I'm guessing I never hear from him again.
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