Lesbehonest

I was starting to receive death threats about no longer blogging...so I figured I should get back to it.  This post will be short as I'm easing myself back into blog land.  My main reason for not blogging was a lack of internet...it wasn't really in the budget.  But, I've since moved in with a friend and she has internet so I am back!

On that note, yes..my roommate is a girl and yes we're both single and yes we're over 30 and yes, I like cats but NO I am not a god damn lesbian nor is she.  It boggles my mind how people think becuase you're older and single it must mean your a lesbo.  Why can't I instead be congratulated on the fact that I didn't marry the wrong one, I'm not part of the 52% of American marriages that end in divorce, I'm not settling for a douche canoe just so I can have the fairytale wedding and not walk through this crazy world alone?  And furthermore, anyone who knows me and my love for the gays along with my bursting at the seams personality and openess knows that if I were a muff diver, I would be loud and proud of it!  I have said it before and I will say it again, I like men...a lot.  Preferably the Percy Harvin type.  I have faith God will bring me my hubby one day and if it's not in the cards...while it would be sad, I have plenty of other things in my life to make me happy.  But I will not resort to women, I, my friends, am strictly dickly. 

Look for another blog this week...it will probably be about softball and cats.

Too much?

A black co-worker just told me my skin color is starting to match his...too much sun? Never!

Yahoonot

I try to log in to my yahoo account the other day and yahbitch tells me that my account has been compromised and I need to change my password. Thinking, Yahoo would never steer me wrong, I change my password. I woke up yesterday to a bunch of out of office emails...I was a tad confused since I hadn't sent any emails. Come to find out I was hacked and some sort of pervy emails were sent to everyone in my address book. Seriously? I have had my same Yahoo email address since 1997 and really didn't want to give it up but decided it was time to make my Gmail my default account. Bye bye Yahoo, it was a good run but I draw the line when you email my insurance guy a penis website link.

Low Cal Cuppies

I made these for cooking club on Saturday...they were SO good.  I also made this low-fat cream cheese frosting...super nummy.  It's more tangy than the regular cream cheese frosting but we all agreed it was a nice change.  Make em'!!

COTW

Britney Spears

Oh Britney, how I love thee...even through the not so stable years.  I am not ashamed, it's Britney bitch. 
July 6th, 2011 all my dreams will come true. 

Ugh

It's been almost two months since I've blogged.  Two months of insanity.  Things are quiet and calm now, I'm rather fond of the quietness and enjoying it while I can.  I'm gearing up for a busy summer, honestly, being so popular is tough.  Ugh. 

Since I last blogged there were birthdays, anniversaries, work trip to Chicago, Easter, Mother's Day, getting ebola, craft projects, craft projects and more craft projects.  I think writing about it would make me tired all over again.  So I won't. 

I logged on the other night with a list a mile long of things to blog about and blogger was down.  Now, I'm sitting here with not a clue as to what I should say.  So I'll leave it at this....I'm back bitches! 

Ramblings

*Continuing my part-time job at Let's Dish.  Not working as much because it drove me nuts but still kickin'. 
*Having a hard time understanding how it's the end of March already.  But so excited for spring and summer! 
*In full Mexico planning mode.  I'm going with a bunch of friends in November, I know...so far away, right?  Still fun to plan.  We're staying at an all inclusive in Playa del Carmen, we just have to pick the right one. 
*The balls are holding up, had my check-up appointment yesterday and I'm 20/15..suck it 20/20!  Both of my eyes are very dry, but I can't really tell that and one is inflamed so I literally walked out of there with 4 new kinds of drops.  Thank the lord I don't have issues putting drops in. 
*Some not so fun things have been happening.  One of my best friends parents were in a pretty bad car accident in Florida which is where they live.  Her dad was ejected from the vehicle and had to be airlifted to the hospital.  Both are ok and recovering slowly but was very scary.  It was awful watching her go through it especially since she wasn't there with them.  Another one of my best friend's son went into diabetic shock the other night and also had to be airlifted to the hospital.  It's a very long story that I don't feel like re-telling for the 800th time.  But, he came very close to dying and it's been a rough couple of days.  He has brain swelling and is improving but still too soon to tell what/if the damage is.  Just so thankful he pulled through!  Love you Oscar! 
*Finally catching up on Chelsea Handler...Justin Bieber is on right now, double whammy, I die!  OMG Biebs is funny, whoda thunk?!
*Gearing up for my annual Easter party, a lot of people can't make it this year so it will be more adults than kids.  That equals more booze!
*Easter.  Need I say more?  My favorite holiday, period.
*April is upon us.  Does anyone seriously comprehend the business that is April for me?  My dad and step-mom's anniversary, my mom and step-dad's anniversary, my brother and sil anniversary, Sam and Boomer's birthdays, Riley and Keegan's birthdays, my bestie Kelly's bday, Easter (which if you know our family..we do it up big for Easter), Chicago for a week for work and somehow work 2 jobs in there.  Oh and MY birthday.  32!  Bring it on biatch!

Peace and chicken grease.

COTW

Ryan Reynolds

He may have already been a COTW but who cares, he makes my hoo-ha warm

Edith

Please meet my new bff Edith, Edie for short.  She's beyond amazing.  Over the years I've gotten more into scrapping and card making and now I've been enlisted to make Seth's graduation photo boards.  I've wanted a Cricut for a very long time and finally just bought one.  They're not cheap but who cares, this thing is my new boyfriend.

Is it here yet?

I can't wait any longer for spring and summer!  All I can think about is the St. Paul farmer's market, walks, pool days, patios, Easter, open windows and NO more pale skin!  I got a glimpse of it this weekend...walked Lake Calhoun Saturday morning, the sun was out, people were out...it was amazing.  My legs are a little pissed off today.  Oopsies. 

COTW

How do I even explain my love for this week's COTW?  He's been around for everrrr...he occasionally wears gold teeth and once upon a time rocked a bandaid on his cheek.  I'm currently watching his VH1 Behind the Music and it has re-kindled my love for him.  He's made some of the funnest songs, I mean it doesn't get any better than Country Grammer and Ride Wit Me, I've been to 2 of his concerts and can confidentaly say, (mom and Percy, don't read this) that if I could pick one person to do the diiiirrrty with, it would be him.  Yes, Flavor Flav is a close second. I kid, I kid.  And Ashanti?  Hands off bitch. 

Need I say more?  Yes, ok.

Oh. Dear. God.



The Balls

Have been sliced.  Lasik surgery went off without a hitch, I think?  Vision is still a little blury, especially the left eye but holy shmokes I can see!  The surgery itself was beyond weird but so quick.  I definitely felt it and some parts hurt but again, so quick that I'd do it over in a heartbeat.  The drops are a bit annoying, I feel like I am putting different drops in every 4-6 minutes but it's better than the eyeball falling out of the socket.  Work was painful today and I ended up leaving early, but, tomorrow is a new day.  I love my new balls!

COTW

Idris Elba

He's popped up on my blog before, here and here but he needed his own post.  There were better pics of him but I enjoy the lips.  God, I need a man.

I'm addicted

to Burts Bees chapstick.  I have 5 of them.  One at work, one in my purse, one next to my bed, one in my car and one on my coffee table.  I mean, it's just not healthy and it's damn expensive.  They are like $3 a piece.  But, I just can't quit.  I figure it's better than heroin. 

Double Standard

I was listening to the radio the other day and they were talking about Leanne Rimes and the Grammy Awards.  They said that Guilianna Rancic, an E! reporter, said there was no way in which she would interview Leanne Rimes because of what she did with Eddie Cibrian.  For some reason this really pissed me off.  Not because I think what Leanne and Eddie did was ok but seriously Guilianna?  I don't see you turning down Brad Pitt interviews or the hundreds of other celebrities who cheat.  Why is she so upset about Leanne...I came to the conclusion that it's because she's a woman.  It's ok and acceptable for a man to cheat but once a woman does, she's a horrible person.  It's the same thing with being overweight.  It's more acceptable for a man to be overweight and have a beer gut, but a woman who's overweight is disgusting.  And just for that, I'm rocking my beer gut with a belly shirt all summer. 

Los Ojos

I'm getting Lasik in 3 weeks!  The excitement is overwhelming.  I've been wanting this for years...I've always had issues with wearing contacts.  I can wear them for about 3 hours and then I get pissed and throw them on the ground.  Glasses are annoying...people can't see when you wear pretty eyeshadow, they fog up, and they're all around a big fat pain in the ass.  I'm really hoping the doctor doesn't eff up and slice my balls in the wrong place.  I enjoy being able to see.  I mean, what if he gets the hiccups or sneezes?  I'm screwed.  At least I have honest friends that will tell me if guys I date are ugly or not.  Wish me luck! 

The Herp

I went to a new place to get my brows waxed last weekend...my friend said it was the best place ever.  So, I thought, I'll try it.  Your first wax is free...sign me up!  The esthetician talked me into doing my lip along with the brows.  I've never, in my life, waxed my lip.  It wasn't a habit I wanted to start.  I do have lots of hair on my face but am lucky because it's so blond.  Well, estheticbitch caught me in a weak moment and I agreed to the stache wax.  You bet your sweet ass I woke up Sunday morning with bumps on the side of my mouth...it's now Thursday and only gotten worse.  It looks like herpes took over my lips.  Don't be jealous.

I'm putting it in writing...

I love, love, love trying new restaurants...I'm constantly saying to myself, ohh I want to eat there or try that.  Then I forget to write it down. SO, I'm writing them down and can reference this when I forget. 

Bar La Grassa--probably be about 64 years old when I can get a table here
112 Eatery
Saffron
Al Vento
Haute Dish--hear it's overrated but I still want to try it!
Amore Victoria
Pazzaluna
Fogo de Chao
Shamrocks
Piccolo
Smashburger---what??  I haven't tried it yet. 

I plan to add to this list and also find a boy to take me to them all.

Do you have it?

Bieber Fever?  Cuz I sure as hell do. 

Catch Up--COTW

 Emannuel Sanders

Jake Gyllenhaal (wasn't a fan until I saw Love and Other Drugs)

Just can't have enough pics of Percy

I know, I know

I have been a very bad blogger for the past couple months.  I have been so busy and without having a laptop, blogging has fallen to the bottom of my list.  I am waiting for a meeting to start so I thought I'd try to get in a quick post. Unfortunately, I don't have too many exciting things to share. 

*Holidays are finally over.  Oops, did I say that?  I love, love, love Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years.  I love the shopping, the decorating, the family time, etc.  But, I get to a point where I am over it all. 
*Had another low key NYE this/last year.  Continued the tradition of dinner at Manny's (YUM!) with a couple of the besties.  We did a later dinner this year which worked out better.  After dinner, Cindy and I headed back to my place and enjoyed a few cocktails while discussing the meaning of life.  Trust me, you wanted to be there.
*I got a part time job back in November at Let's Dish.  I had no idea how much I'd be busting my ass.  It's nice to have some additional money coming in but holy crap, my body is sore. 
*Still volunteering at the Ronald McDonald House with my brother Seth.  Less than I would like to but coordinating both of our schedules is no easy task. 
*Speaking of Seth--2011 has come, he will be graduating high school.  I can't even warp my head around it.  This also means I need to get started on everything I have to do for his grad party.  Oh, I'm not his mother you say?  I'm taking over because she may be a little too emotional to handle all of the planning.  That and she is a bit craft challenged.  Did I mention she signed me up to help at his all night party?  I love being at her disposal.  What will she do if/when I ever have a family of my own?  Love you mom!
*Still no mans in my life.  The fridge is empty, the freezer is empty and it's gettin' cold. 
*For years, I've always felt that 32 was going to be a good year for me, I don't know why or how this came about.  But, in 3 months I will turn 32.  32, I can't even believe I'm saying that.  I still feel like a girl of 16.  I do believe that this is going to be a fabulous year for me.  The older I get, the happier I become and it's a great feeling.  I just hope that sooner rather than later God will bring that man into my life.  Like I said, it's gettin' cold! 
*I am back to my healthy lifestyle!  Ugh, it took me so long to get back but it was time.  Back to eating right and exercising.  We have a competition at work that I'm co-captain of and winner takes home $120.  Done and done.  Following a combination of my own plan and Jackie Warner's plan from Bravo TV.  That woman is amazing.  She believes a lot of the same things I do--like sugar is the devil and is what is making Americans fat, hormones play a big part in weight especially for woman and a ton of other things. 
*I'm finally getting Lasik surgery....for someone who can't wear contacts because they make my eyes bleed, this is a God send.  Surgery is in March.  Watch out now!
*Seriously, my meeting was suppose to start at 10:00....ummm, what's going on?

I think that's all I got for now....hope to write more soon.  I have lots to discuss.