That's what I say every time I look in the mirror. My body is completely foreign to me. I wasn't quite prepared for the journey that this has become.
My mom took me to surgery last Tuesday, August 10th. It was not at the hospital but at their surgery center next to the clinic...this is Edina people, no hospitals for us! It started with the usual very stylish outfit that included underwear similar to a napkin with elastic, an IV that a vein couldn't be found for, nerves, giggles, maybe a tear or two. I was very nervous the day before but the day of, I was relatively calm. I was so stressed with wrapping things up at work, I think that's what made me so nervous. I've never been awake in an operation room, this was a first for me. I walked right into the room, saw all the knives, drugs, gauze, etc. It didn't really bother me, I've never had a hard time with blood, hospitals or things of that nature. Christ, I watched my surgery several times on youtube before I had it done. But, the room was a little creepy and freaking cold. Then I stepped up onto the bed, which was heated and had some sort of comfy blanket on it, I felt like I was going to get a massage, I was waiting for them to hit play on the Yanni cd. They put the oxygen mask on and the doc came over and grabbed my hand. The next thing I knew, I was awake in the recovery room. Who the hell knows what I was mumbling about to the staff, I remember going on and on about my sweatpants and how great they were. Finally they let my mom come back. I was so happy to see her, she always makes everything ok. All together, surgery and recovery was about 4 hours long.
A short version of what they did is cut an anchor shape across each breast, I also requested that my side boobs be removed by cutting instead of lipo. So my incisions go back much further than most people's. They cut your areolas almost completely off. They take the fat, tissue and excess skin out and then pull your boobs together. I have internal stitches and surgerical tape holding the outsides together. I suggest googling it if you'd like to understand what the hell I just said.
I spent Tuesday through Saturday at my mom and step-dads. My mom took a few days off of work and my brothers and step-dad helped out when needed. I spent most of my time in their recliner, which they brought over to my apartment, it's the most comfortable thing for me. Surprisingly the pain hasn't been the biggest issue, don't get me wrong, it hurts. But a majority of the annoyance comes from not being able to get comfortable which means not a lot of sleep and difficulty in finding a position to sit, stand or lay. Finding a bra to wear has been damn near impossible, dear lord. Everything is too tight around my ribs so it hurts to breath, everything touches the incisions. It's so annoying!!! Getting dressed isn't the easiest and don't get me started on wiping---there's no easy way to do it--from the front? Nope. From the back? Nope. Sideways, upside down, backwards? NO. It is so painful to reach so I'm becoming an advocate of drip drying. Something else? Now that the skin from my armpit has been pulled down, my armpit hair is on the side of my boob. Sexy is what that is.
I'm down to one or 2 pain meds a day, which is a big change from 2 every 4 hours on the dot. I rented a bunch of movies. My back and neck hurt from constantly sitting but I go for mini walks around my apartment and patio. It's exciting. I'm probably the most unhappy I've ever been with my body. It's a difficult adjustment. My boobs are going to look great and be perky and fun, I'm not worried about that. Although I've cried a few times because I'm worried they're going to be too small. Taking the boobs away has made the rest of my problem areas that much more visible. I mean seriously, all of a sudden I have a fat ass, like where did that come from??? And don't get my started on my stomach. I know it was all there before but it looks different now. It's been really hard for me to deal with. At the same time, it's motivated me to lose weight more than anything else ever has. I just want immediate gratifcation. :)
Am I happy I did the surgery? Not quite yet, I know I will be, I have no doubt. I just need time to get use to it. I may be a little down but I'm mostly excited for this new journey and to have some new girls to show off. I can not thank my mom enough for her support, physically and emotionaly. She was there for every ouch, fever, crying session, and all the other craziness that came from this surgery. I can never repay her, I love you mucho momms. I would post pics on here of before and after but I don't want my girls floating around on the world wide web. If you would like to see, please email me, I'm not shy to share. And one last thing, I got measured before the surgery. I was a 38J. Yes, that's right. Not sure what I am now, probably around a D. Once the swelling goes down, I'll have a better idea.
Time for a percocet and nap!
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